Jeezus

I propose any of the following solutions to help instantly cure or indefinitely postpone the Oil Crisis:

-Have your car towed by six glorious white horses, each one more pretty than the last.

-Buy a pair of roller skates and then, with your grappling hook, latch onto semi trucks and enjoy the open road as never before.

-Make voice powered cars that are fueled by human screams.

-Kill all hippies and steal their silly bio-diesel vehicles.

-Ride on the backs of giant, genetically engineered frogs (coming soon).

-A car that runs on Pabst Blue Ribbon????

-Become a nation of fat shut-ins.

All and all, I think we can nip this problem before it gets out of hand. Sure, we've been taking advantage of oil for centuries now, but any of the options outlined above should get things under control until we can save up the money to invade a few more countries, thus finally securing all the oil we need to build the utopian world of dreams that we've been talking about for so many eons.